What's Not Mine - Starving

Just when I got ready to taste the victory of finding love,

Your past pushes me away from the table,

Further than I've ever been,

I starve.

I saw your light before I saw your eyes,

No matter how bright you are,

That light is for someone else,

I starve.

I am down to nothing,

Less than before,

He is yours,

I starve.

By Badilisho

http://ibwriting.blogspot.com

Badilisho

I smile, but I am not happy,

I dance, but I am not moved,

Until we do this together,

I am not complete.

I will not journey without you,

When I am in the temple,

When I walk the gardens,

When I rest you are here.

Your woes, your ills, your wretchedness,

All chambered in my heart,

If I am in the east, you are, too,

When I fall, I pain, you bruise.

I cannot attain without you,

Connected at the middle,

We will face the light together,

Never denying, I am you.

By Badilisho

The New Niggers....

Today, blacks are no longer the litmus paper or the barometer of social change.  Blacks are in every segment of society and there are laws that help to protect them from racial discrimination.  The new "niggers" are gays...It is in this sense that gay people are the new barometer for social change...The question of social change should be framed with the most vulnerable group in mind: gay people.

-Bayard Rustin

While I agree with Bayard, I offer up a further mental dig. Based on Bayard's rationale, the actual new niggers are Black lesbians.  They are female, black and carry a sexual identification that automatically places them into a third subculture.  They are triple-dipped in minority status. It's no wonder why they walk around so angry.

How To Identify A Stalker

1. When they laugh really hard at your jokes and you know the shit ain't even funny.

2. When their eyes are seated just a little too close.

3. When they tell you in the first convo "I'm not the type to stalk people". Be forewarned...they are!

4. When they ask for your phone number, Facebook and twitter after talking to you for 10 minutes.

5. When their friends are looking at you like "don't do it player...walk away".

Badilisho

This Blog Is Not Dead

I've been taking a break from blogging but I'm back. I hope those that followed before will jump back on the bandwagon.  I will post a series of poems that I've drafted during my hiatus.  Hotep!

Shit Sticks

The bees, they buzz for me,

Cause my name is honey,

And the birds, they chirp in my honor,

Cause I’m fly.

Everything knows my greatness,

Except for you with all your lateness,

Still tryna figure out,

I am, that I am.

I’m breeze brushing your lobes,

The rocks underneath ya feet,

Your stance I stabilize,

And still you don’t know who I am.

You better ask the bees,

Get some advice from birds,

Have a sit with the breeze,

Maybe the rocks have a word.

But whatever they tell you,

It won’t be more true than this,

I’m the shit that never leaves,

You might want to get to know me.

By Badilisho

http://ibwriting.blogspot.com

No Reason

When I leave don’t cry,

I’ll need you to be happy,

Be happy we had a chance,

Be happy we had a dance,

Be happy that we shared life,

Work now to have no reason to cry.

Those who cry have regrets,

And some are just selfish,

Please don’t be one of them,

Say the words you want to say,

Be with me however you may,

But don’t have a reason to cry.

When I close my eyes you should smile,

Remember me and taste sweet on your mind,

Tell stories of our laughter and lessons,

Etch me into the future and do it with a smile,

When I close my eyes you will be with me,

With no reason…just sweet memories.

By Badilisho

http://ibwriting.blogspot.com

The Artist

Three months of bliss,

Day 91 that all changed,

He showed his true colors,

And they are here on my face.

Black, blue, red and yellow,

I wear them in the dark,

Quietly and fearfully waiting,

I am sure he will add more.

He paints me when I slip,

He paints me when I sleep,

Constantly stroking his brush,

Unfortunately, I am his masterpiece.

He is the artist of agony,

Slick and discreet,

His work is hard and robust,

And my face is his canvas.

By Badilisho

http://ibwriting.blogspot.com

Note: Inspired by the web series entitled JustUs (http://vimeo.com/23092420)

Bit by the Bug

He packed his car and headed to NYC,

He imagine sweet and big ole dreams,

He met cute boys, tall ones, and big ones too,

They called him boo and stroked his ego…ooo,

And every now and then...they would pay. 

So his dreams got tucked far away,

In the meantime was fun time,

And he realized just how hot he was,

He was the “It” boy...the shit boy,

He was the number one lay.

Soon a strong cough paid him a visit,

And a bruise that wouldn’t go away,

He lost his energy…his looks,

A no boy called to say “are you ok”,

He, the shadow of a sweet dream.

Now his mother wipes his ass,

Feeds him dinner, lunch and breakfast,

He sleeps in the daytime,

And cries at night,

Big dreams gone to the wayside.

By Badilisho

http://ibwriting.blogspot.com

Release

She called your name,

But she was with him,

She fearfully said "I'm sorry",

And he gave her hem,

He hit her twice, 

Let her go.

You've got to let her go,

Back to what she knows,

You know you don't want her,

And she's under your spell,

He'll keep her there,

But not for long.

Laying horizontal...he hit her spot,

Images of you flashed in her mind,

She wind hips and grabbed his behind,

With vigor she screamed your name,

And with that he came with cum and fist,

If you care enough...let her go.

By Badilisho

http://ibwriting.blogspot.com/

Open Up

If you let it in it'll live,

If you shut it out it’ll wither,

Come now come hither,

Be a little open to love. 

I know they bruised you,

Tainted your pure ways,

But they’re not me,

And I surely ain’t he.

Soft as the spring,

My love is showering,

Down upon you I come,

But I need you open.

Open for me,

Let daddy in,

Let me live,

Inside you.

By Badilisho

http://ibwriting.blogspot.com

U

There’s something about you,

That lingers like laughter,

And I want more.

You’re sweet like cane,

And true like the moon,

I feel you.

There’s something about you,

Simply completely memorable,

And I miss you.

As soon as you leave,

My mind conceives,

How much you are.

There’s something about you,

That keeps me near,

And I want to be here.

I can feel you,

I can taste you,

Come be with me.

By Badilisho

http://ibwriting.blogspot.com/

Sacrifice

I worked the fields, day after day,

I laid the bricks til nightfall,

I died in those fields,

So you could command the skies,

Why are you still doing the work I've done?

I allowed them to call me nigger,

And kept who I was tucked away,

I took whips, had my skin split,

So you could show your face,

Why are you still doing the work I've done?

I look down from the edge of heaven,

And I weep at your surrender,

Your forgetfulness and broken will,

Look back long enough to push forward,

Remember the work I've done?

I sacrificed my hands, my back, my soul,

I built this country so you could claim it,

We built those homes, those roads,

We cleared the paths and laid the tracks,

Hoping our work would be your comfort.

Look up and take me in,

My journey is real and thick,

It yields great gifts,

And each is owed to you,

So why are you still...

I see you sleeping,

Your eyes are open,

But you don't see me,

Put the plow down,

And reach for the scroll. 

By Badilisho

http://ibwriting.blogspot.com/

She stroked the back of his neck, gently,
He took that as a sign to have his way,
And that he did, vigorously,
It's not what she intended,
He amended,
Confusion.

She is there, but not fulfilled,
They are together but not,
He is more than content,
She amended,
Confused.

If they both understood the act,
Love would lay with them,
She gives for acceptance,
He gives for approval,
They both lose.

They continue changing nothing,
Expecting something different,
They lay, they play, they delay,
What awaits them is true light,
What's share is far from that,
They fuse and refuse.

Surely he knows what she needs,
But fears she will leave, and
She knows what he is capable of,
And remains hopeful,
They know all this,
Yet confused.

Fear denies their fusion,
Consumes their intent,
He and she are bent,
Folding their cards,
Telling their lies,
Never knowing.

By Badilisho
http://ibwriting.blogspot.com

No Wings

She dreamed big,

But lived little,

She told her story,

But no one listened.

She's a fairy tale,

Waiting to explode,

A thought gone stale,

Dreams lying on the floor. 

No wings, no wings,

Dreams without flight,

They'll haunt her tonight,

No wings for her dreams.

By Badilisho

http://ibwriting.blogspot.com/

Until

I want nothing more, 

Than to have all of you,

Half my heart says it'll never be,

The other half can clearly see,

You and me reciting soliloquies.

I'll do much of nothing,

Til I feel you bonded to me,

I'll settle for nothing,

Less than 100 won't do,

I won't move, won't move.

Tell me everything and sweet nothings,

Write a song for me and sing out of key,

It won't matter as long as you're here,

I want nothing more than you,

I'll do much of nothing, until. 

By Badilisho

http://ibwriting.blogspot.com/

Donor

l

I have no use for it anymore,

It's given me aches and drama,

Tortured me in the middle of the night,

And I can't seem to get it in sync.

Take my heart and do as you like,

Maybe you will find good use for it,

Make it fall for love and stay there,

Give it a rhythm and a reason to beat.

Reach in and pull it out,

Fear not, I won't feel it,

It's been stomped numb,

Bless you, it is yours now.

By Badilisho

http://ibwriting.blogspot.com

As Hard As You

The tears on my cheek are as warm as the words that brought them here,

Each drop is filled with stories of loss love and failed attempts,

They represent a world full of hurt and damage,

I am crying for life.

I heard you when you said you wanted to love, be loved and leave love for others,

I heard you when you said you were giving up hope on finding comfort here,

So you left, but I still hear you wishing out loud and your words banging against steel,

I am crying for your life, the life you never received.

I can still hear you speak words of hope,

I can still see the dreams you depicted,

I can still taste the freedom that you knew existed, somewhere...

I am crying in life, for your life, and unborn joys. 

We let you down and for that, I apologize,

Make sure you look out for those of us still here,

We know not what we do, and even when we do...

We could never love as hard as you.

By Badilisho

http://ibwriting.blogspot.com

Plastic

Plastic

He tells them to count down to 1,
To make them beautiful,
They look different,
Some say better,
But they are never beautiful.




He pulls at their skin, cuts and replaces,
He reshapes their sides and their faces,
They look different,
Some say their best,
But they are never beautiful.

By Badilisho
http://ibwriting.blogspot.com

Lost

Today a young guy stood next to me while I was looking at the train map. He asked me how to get to the Bronx. I told him and showed him on the map. It became apparent to me that he couldn't read. This guy had to be about 19. We are losing the battle ya'll. If you have a few hours after work or on the weekend, find a teen to mentor. Teach them how to read so they will know where they are headed in life...literally.


Badilisho
http://ibwriting.blogspot.com

Second Letter to Radio Shack Customer Service:

Second Letter to Radio Shack Customer Service:

Yesterday, I received a call from a young man by the name of Jason.  He stated that he worked for Radio Shack and that he read my complaint letter. He said that he wanted to help and offered to get the headphones exchanged at another store.  I agreed to the arrangement because he appeared to be competent.  Jason stated that he would call me back once he found a store with the headphones in stock, and that’s just what he did. I was told to go to the Radio Shack located at 58 Graham Avenue in Brooklyn.  I informed him that I wouldn’t be able to make the trip to Williamsburg until the next day (January 4^th).  Jason stated that was fine and that I should ask for the store manager, Alex, when I arrive. 

Today, I looked the store up online to find out their hours.  The online listing stated that the store was opened until 9 p.m.  So I headed to the store.  When I got to the store they were on the verge of closing the doors, and it was barely 8:30 p.m.  I asked if I could do a quick exchange.  I said “I was told to ask for Alex”.  The first clerk, Kevin, said “He’s not here and we are about to close”.  I explained my situation and Kevin appeared to be unmoved.  However, there was a second clerk, Dennis, who listened.  He appeared to be somewhat sympathetic and clearly understood what I was trying to accomplish.  He even looked at the product and identified its make and model (a Radio Shack product).  Kevin walked away from the conversation tending to something else.  When he came back he said “is this thing under warranty” while looking at the receipt. I am irritated at this point.  He switched from being unhelpful to asking about a warranty.  Neither I or Dennis answered his question.  I attempt to explain what was going on to Kevin and he restated that they were about to close and said if the arrangement was made with Alex, that’s who I had to talk to, not taking into consideration that I traveled out of my area to make the exchange.  Not taking into account that someone must have given me the name of his store manager or the part of my story that involved me writing the corporate office. He appeared to be unconcerned and more focused on getting me out of the store.   Then he asked me for an authorization number.  He was random and rude! I informed him that I wasn’t given an authorization number and said that I was sent to their store because of poor service at another Radio Shack store.  Not once did he examine the product, and not once did he seem to care about what I was saying.  I got frustrated and told them to keep the product.  I asked the clerks their names before leaving the store and they told me.  I then wished them a good night and left the store baffled.  I will never return to another Radio Shack store, EVER!

Who are you hiring to man your stores? Are you training them? Do you pay them enough for them to care about their jobs, more importantly, the customers that make it possible for them to have a job? 

I am going to spend the next few months telling people of my horrible experience with your store staff. At this point, I am not sure what to demand from your company because it appears nothing is order, absolutely nothing.   

From Fake To Great

The world will tell you that you are nothing, that you "can't do" and they will even tell you what you shouldn't do. However, God created you so you are inherently everything to everyone at every moment of the day. Embrace your greatness and step away from fakeness. Hotep!




Badilisho
http://ibwriting.blogspot.com

No More Sitting Down For Christ

It's time we stop being sit-down Christians. We get so caught up in church and showy worship that our eyes have strayed from the battle. Make 2011 the year you will stand up for someone when you see them being picked on. Make 2011 the year you will step outside your comfort zone and trust in God. Make 2011 the year you pick up arms in the name of God and the greater good. Hotep!


Badilisho
http://ibwriting.blogspot.com

Don't Shop At Radio Shack (Read Within)

Letter to Radio Shack Customer Service:

Yesterday, I called the toll free number for Radio Shack.  I asked about the exchange policy on items purchased at Radio Shack, in particular products manufactured by Radio Shack (Auvio).  The representative stated that I had ninety days to make an exchange for products manufactured by Radio Shack. 

Today, December 30^th, I returned to the same store where I purchased the headphones.  The first store clerk was completely unaware of Radio Shack’s exchange policy, and he kept repeating the refund policy to me.  He said that he would need to get the manager.  He came back with the most rude and vile person I have ever encountered in a retail store.  I assumed she was a manager.  She too started rattling off the return policy.  I explained to her that I wasn’t seeking a refund, but that I was looking to exchange the defective product.  She said, “It’s still over 30 days”.  I could tell by her face and disposition that she didn’t like the fact that I quoted the exchange policy to her and suggested that she call central customer service.   She said something smart under her voice to the first salesclerk.  It appeared that she was checking on something after I told her about the 90-day exchange policy.  However, I was simply standing around for no apparent reason.  She was ignoring me.  I walked over to her register and asked what was going on.  She said that she already told me what the store policy was.  I asked to speak with a manager and she told me to go to the back of the store and ask another clerk to get the manager because she was too busy with another customer.  At this point, I was annoyed by her apparent attitude and lack of professionalism.  We got in to a word for word argument as other customers stood by witnessing her aggressive behavior.  Eventually the manager came up front and even he had a nasty disposition.  He insisted that I stand closer to him to tell him my side of the story.  I refused, because I didn’t want what I had to say be in earshot of the female clerk in fear that she would interject….which she did.

The manager started to repeat the same return policy to me and I had to restate to him that I was not looking for a refund, but that I was looking to exchange the defective product.  He took one look at the product and said that it was damaged and accused me of stepping on the headphones or causing the damage.  I told the manager that I had no reason to lie about a $39 purchase, and he stuck with his assessment that I damaged the product.  The female clerk yelled from the cash registered that I should be removed from the store because I threatened her.  This is totally not true. However, I did stand my ground with her in the argument.  The manager then got short with me and said there was nothing he could do for me.  It was clear that he had no authority over the female clerk because whatever she yelled from the cash registered clearly influenced his treatment of me.  Recognizing that neither of them fully understood Radio Shack’s exchange policy and that I was being brushed off, I stated that I was not leaving so they might as well call the authorities…and that’s just what the manager instructed one of the clerks to do.

When the authorities arrived, they appeared to know the Radio Shack staff very well.  So clearly, I was at a disadvantage.  The authorities took the story of the first salesclerk (male)…who I overheard lying to the police. Then they took my story and then the store manager’s story, which I did not hear.  The police said there was nothing they could do to have him exchange the headphones, and stated that I had the option to sue. 

In course of the argument with the female salesclerk, she threatened me and was highly inappropriate and she did it a second time right in front of her manager.  As I left the store I asked the manager for his boss’s contact information, he said nothing but simply turned a sign around with a toll free number and a name.  He was almost just as ignorant as the young lady. 

I am asking that someone pull the video tape from the store to confirm my entire story.  In the meantime, I have no intent to sue radio shack over a $39 purchase, but I will if the parties involved are not addressed and corrected.  I simply want the defective product exchanged and an apology from the staff involved, for their dishonesty, unprofessionalism, ill treatment, and unwillingness or lack of skills to maintain me as a customer.  The way they treated me made me feel like I had walked into the store to rob it. 

Lastly, I have purchased several items from Radio Shack in the course of 20 years.  I have never been treated with such disrespect by any of your staff members until today.  They are unprofessional, street hoods (referring to the female clerk), and they do your brand no justice.  I will boycott your stores from this point forward and ask my entire network of employees, colleagues and family members to do the same.  Please address this issue immediately!

Book Cover

Hey all,

My official thanks to those who have shown their support and purchased the book.  Please provide me with your feedback once you finish the book.  I want to grow, so feedback is appreciated.

Enjoy your day!

Badilisho
http://www.badilisho.com

The Books Are In! - The Makings of Mariam

The books have arrived, shipping materials are in stock, and the buzz is building!  I have dropped off several copies of The Makings of Mariam to coffee shops, bookstores and salons.  They have been waiting on the book, and I delivered it to them with a smile.    

If you are a supporter, please be sure to talk the story up with your friends and family.  If this is your first time hearing about the book, please check out the synopsis and excerpts at the official website, http://www.badilisho.com, or at the book's blog, http://themakingsofmariam.blogspot.com.  

Here are four great reasons why you should buy the book:

1. You will be able to relate to the story and the characters;
2. It's a quick and easy read;
3. It's an inexpensive gift; and 
4. It's truly a great story

Thanks again to all of those who have shown their support!  If you have any questions regarding the book or sales, drop me a line at author@badilisho.com.  Hotep!

The Suit You Made For Me

I got beat by the woman in the store,

When I got home I got some more,

I’ve learned my lesson,

I won’t take, but give my soul.

I walk in the lines,

I follow your rules,

I want not,

I disturb nothing.

I’ve married,

Raised two children,

I wake and work every day,

I walk your wishes.

I walk in the lines,

I follow your rules,

I want not,

I move nothing.

I’m told there is great reward,

For following, for not fighting,

I am told this is the great way,

Not dreaming, not wanting.

I walk in the lines,

I follow your rules,

I want not,

I say nothing.

You beat me to here,

You stopped me from wanting,

I am living your dream,

One that you didn’t create.

I walk in the lines,

I follow your rules,

I want not,

I create nothing.

You are the seamstress of nothing,

Enforcing things that make no sense,

Building walls of pain and confusion,

And daring one to tear them down.

  

I walk in the lines,

I follow your rules,

I want not,

I change nothing.

 

You placed the jacket on my back,

It tights and doesn’t belong,

You wiped my tears,

And the suit never fits.

By Badilisho

http://ibwriting.blogspot.com